Dad’s Diner
OK, I might need a better name.
I go into a lot of restaurants as part of my job. Oftentimes the place will be run by a couple who “always loved to cook” or “got this great recipe from their grandmother” or, my personal favorite “Some friends tried my (insert mundane food here) and said I should open a restaurant.” By the time friends I’m cooking for actually get fed they’re usually loaded, but I guess those are just my friends.
The main problem most people don’t account for is the food cost that’s tied up in inventory. Running a successful restaurant means winning the inventory battle and it’s a problem that you will never have to deal with if you become a “Dad’s Diner” franchisee.
The Dad’s Diner concept is a small menu-less restaurant chain not too unlike the Mom’s Restaurant portrayed in that bastion of print comedy “Ziggy.”
It works like this:
I'll call you when it's ready
Dad’s Diners are small, they take up residence in strip-malls and similar group retail locations and they sell only what they have on hand. A patron comes in and sits down, the server − who is also the cook − wanders over to the refrigerator and starts calling out meal options.
“You want eggs? I could do you an omelette,” the server might say.
Checking the freezer the server might go on to enumerate the different possible omelette add-ons like “broccoli?” “maybe some spinach?” etc.
Tables of four or more would be required to order all the same item, and that dish would most likely be macaroni-based. Coming up to the table the server might say, “Penne, bow ties, or spaghetti?”
Other phrases include, “I think we got a little ricotta, I could warm that up. Or would you prefer something maybe with olive oil and garlic?”
For desert the server might place a five-dollar bill on the table and send you next door to get candy for everyone, unless there’s Jell-O left in the refrigerator in which case no table would be given desert until someone volunteers to “finish the damn Jell-O.”
Similarly, no cake in the display case would be cut until the already cut cakes were sold.
Lunches will consist of either grilled cheese, something egg-based, or left-overs.
Service? I'll give you service.
With this simple formula anyone who is exhorted by their friends to “open a restaurant” can play a small franchise fee and get set up in Dad’s Diner where they can cook whatever they feel like without worrying about what the customers want.
The national spokesperson will look a lot like “Mel” from “Alice.” The national ad campaign will feature the slogan: “Dad’s. If you don’t like it, don’t eat it. Give it to the dog for all I care.”
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