How I love ya
Yeah, I'm a real sensitive guy.
My daughter Megan had a friend over for dinner recently. I was on one of my rants − I really really hate the “Christmas Shoes” song − and for emphasis I said that, given the chance and a time machine, I would totally kill the Christmas Shoes guy before I killed Hitler. It was a variation on the “shoot the lawyer twice” joke, I thought, and not a revelation of my shallowness and insensitivity.
It was pointed out then − and has been pointed out thoroughly since − that this kind of utterance is in bad taste. Even when the dinner guests are not Jewish.
Yeah.
But what if my words were somehow made tangible? What if instead of having my tasteless joke float away into the atmosphere I was left with a statue of Hitler and I laughing while shooting the “Christmas Shoes” Bastard (CSB)? Read more
I don’t wanna cause no fuss…
You can't have it.
You know you’re getting old when minor trespassing gives you a thrill. True, it wasn’t a significant blood-pressure increase but it was enough to begin to shake the weekend ennui out of my head. It was also enough to get me to rethink my resistance to becoming a Delmartian.
Blacks and fags
Emancipator? I hardly know'er!
The joke goes like this: You ask your audience how every racist joke begins. Then you look around slowly to make sure no one resembling your punch line is within ear shot. The problem, of course, is sometimes your audience might be indignant even if they look as you do. The only thing worse than offending some one’s sense of morality is offending their self-image.
Stalk me
