I have lots and lots of movie ideas, they range from terrible to impractical.
But.
Hollywood primarily makes terrible, impractical movies.
So.
For those of you with the time, resources, and/or lack of self respect and/or taste I’ve got some ideas for you.
Method acting
The bitter-sweet romantic comedy based on Trisha Yearwood’s hit She’s in Love with the Boy is an exploration of the hopes and dreams of recent high school graduates with no foreseeable future. If you were disappointed that Pretty Woman and Something to Talk About didn’t fully explore their titular depth, this movie is for you.
I never tire of zombies
From haiku to classic literature, zombies have been documented in every kind of genre and from almost every perspective. The zombie movie I won’t write would tell the tragedy of zombification from the first-person narrative of one of the walking dead.
The film would pose the most horrifying zombie scenario yet − what if you were still conscious after you became a zombie? Imagine the horror and dramatic implications of knowing the “real” person is still alive behind the zombie’s eyes, watching as their own body tears into living flesh; unable to even scream.
Get me a close-up on his gut.
The Plot: After years of fighting paparazzi in the courts and having to dodge them wherever they go, the two stars of Ocean’s 11, 12, etc. team up to turn the tables on their most enthusiastic followers.
Clooney having already made his bones as a director puts his considerable wealth and star power on the line as he ventures into documentary. Pitt acts as camera man, delighting in the covert operation aspect of the hunt. The two follow world-renown photographers, recording their lives and editing them for heightened salaciousness.
While Clooney and Pitt come to gain an appreciation for the intricacies of stalking, the subjects find a new appreciation for things like curtains, alternate routes, and hats and sunglasses.
The Pitch: Given that they were willing to make so many Ocean movies together, the two could begin a new reality-franchise. It’s unlikely that either of them have to work anymore so it’s an opportunity to do some good by revealing the kind of scum their fans support by reading or watching gossip TV. It’s a rare opportunity to kill a genre with a mirror.
Megan Fox? You've just hired the A-Team
The Spinoff: “Revenge of the Famous” wherein Clooney and Pitt are hired by fellow celebrities to shoot the most vicious paparazzi, giving the public much needed access to the real lives of those whose work fills the tabloid pages.
